these are the people in my neighbourhood...

toccata posted a story about her neighbourhood and asked for our stories.

here is my all time favourite neighbourhood story. it even tops the time when i was a kid and our next door neighbour was having an affair with a girl young enough to be his daughter. in the family trailer. which was parked in his family driveway.

this story is way better in person, because i get to do all kinds of voices and action moves.

this happened about a year ago. it was around 10.50 pm. i was in my computer room, watching season one of 24. i was watching the last five minutes of episode 23. for those that know 24, the last five minutes are always super tense. especially when it's the second to last episode of the season. i'm on edge, all tense and then i hear ... my screen door opening. and a bang on the front door. now, i live in an area where there aren't a lot of people walking around at almost 11 pm at night. even the dogs are asleep in my hood. and my brother left for work over an hour ago. and he works five minutes away. so even if he did have to come back for something. he would have already done so.

'goober' has already rushed to the door and is barking. i get up and go to the front door. next to the door, there is one of those frosted glass windows. so you can't really see anything in great detail. i look out it anyways and what i see is this huge man outside my door. i repeat, huge man. i do my best gruff voice.. "yah?" and this guy starts asking for someone. but i can't understand him. i keep asking him to repeat it but i still can't understand. and now i'm frustrated and forget that i'm trying to be tough and just shout out 'i have no idea what you want!" huge man yells out ' just open the fucking door!' and then proceeds to start kicking my door and shaking the door handle.

all time stops. i'm like.. what do i do? oh yah, call 9-11. crap, where's the phone? meanwhile, big scary huge man is still yelling ' open the fucking door!" and kicking the door. and rattling the doorknob. i finally find the phone, call 9-11 and i swear the woman said fire or ambulance. no police option. i reply, some guy is trying to break down my door and she says, oh police. and transfers me over.

now, i'm standing behind my door because apparently this is the only place i feel safe. at the time of this incident, we had no peep hole and no yale lock. just a little ole door knob lock. the woman on the phone is asking me all kinds of questions like... could it be your brother on the other side? um, no because if my brother yelled at me to open the fucking door, he knows that i would just leave thru the back door and let him fend for himself. could it be one of his friends? i doubt it, but i suppose anything is possible. can you describe him? i say he's big, and then he yells out, yah, i'm fucking big, open the fucking door. at this point, 'goober' just lays down and does nothing. um, thanks buddy. now, the lady on the phone is questioning why my dog is not barking. i don't know. do you want to speak to him yourself? she keeps going on...are you sure you don't know him? umm, yah, pretty sure. look lady, i know you are just doing your job, but i'm freakin' out here ok? she keeps asking what's that noise? um, that's the freak at my door trying to get in!

and then i hear some other guy come to my front door and say something. big scary man says you're fuckin' kiddin' me. and then i hear both of them leave. soon afterwards, the police finally show up. i got two squad cars and four officers. one of them knocks on the door and i open it. i tell him what happened. he tells me they've walked around my entire house and the area is clear. they ask about the truck in my neighbour's driveway. is it theirs? i don't know, they just moved here.

and then a thought that had passed thru my mind earlier, finally formulates in my mind. i suppose the guy could have looking for my new neighbours. the police tell me to go back into my house for now. eventually, they come back with the huge man. the man is in his early twenties and weighs around 300 lbs. he looks like a fuckin' footballer. he says, sorry, i went to the wrong fuckin' house. the cop says, hey, you've sworn enough for the evening. he hangs his head and says, sorry, i went to the wrong house.

the cop starts to berate him. next time, know where you are going. the numbers are on this house, there are huge and you gave this girl a fright. if you were at the door when i got here, i would have cold cocked you.

big scary man hangs head lower, and keeps muttering sorry. i thank him for coming over but tell him that's all i have to say to him right now.

i go back inside and pour myself some jack daniels.

the next day, my brother installed a yale lock and a peephole.

lite-brite, makin' things with light...

welcome to random friday. i know it's saturday, but i got home late last night.

yesterday was apparently do not use your turn signal today. or at the very least, do not use your turn signal until you are at least halfway into my lane. um, buddy, at that point, i kinda figured out you were coming in.

i saw this sports car all macked out with rear spoilers etc. but it was pink! who buys a pink sports car?

my brother went away for a week and bought me nothing. the dog however, got a really expensive tie out stake for the yard, a postcard and some really expensive dog snacks. speaking of which, we have found out what he does when we are not home.

apparently "goober" has been running his own business. they are, of course, peanut butter flavoured.






this is the outside of this crazy ass mcdonald's i went to yesterday. the drive thru has two lanes! i didn't eat there, just went inside to use their facilities. inside, it looks more like a starbucks than a mcdonald's. fancy lighting and leather arm chairs. well, to be honest, they could be faux leather. people were sitting in them and i didn't think i should go up and ask if i could caress their chairs to find out. oh, and speaking of incorrect furniture moves ...

i found this on snopes, which is one of my favourite sites. you can read all about it here.






here is a sign i enjoy. these are posted in coquitlam parks.










i saw this in the latest starbucks ad. i really liked it. 'friends let you stay for the credits'.

here is my friday random top ten for this week.

1. blood on our hands – death from above 1979 (i love, love, love this song. especially right now. i was so happy when it started off the rotation)
   
2. nausea – beck (i remain conflicted about beck. and yes, it's that whole scientology thing)
   
3. how deep is your love – take that (hahahahaha, it's true. my guilty pleasure is boy bands from england. good times.)
   
4. drown –son volt
   
5. hallelujah – willie nelson
6. planet of sound (live) – pixies ( i heart pixies)
   
7. cold hard bitch [live] – jet. (interesting, two live songs in a row. i think my player is saying go see more concerts. i saw jet a few years ago in concert at the commodore. there was so many australians there, the joke was "who is working at whistler right now?"
   
8. flying high again – sloan ( i have a weird gay porn fetish thing with sloan.)
   
9. here i dreamt i was an architect – the decemberists (this is the first song i ever heard by them. i got it on this really cool portland sampler i bought in portland a few years ago from q is for choir, a communist record store)
   
10. passing afternoon – iron & wine

have a good weekend everyone!

devil doll devil doll...

toccata posted this and i decided to play. my card was way too funny not to post.

You are The Devil

Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession

The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.

Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

laying on the grass my heart it flares like fire...

you know once you have a dog, the urge to lay on the grass diminishes. and i can't even imagine sitting up against a tree!

it's friday and my new tradition on friday is random postings.

'goober' woke me up at three a.m. the other night. he was howling. in his sleep! full on wolf mode. i felt bad waking him up, but it was three in the morning.

i dropped a friend off at the airport this week and afterwards, 'goober' and i went to an off-leash dog park. i, being me, thought as i was standing on extremely wet sand, why don't i kick the ball for my cute little poochie? i did not realize the stupidity of that idea until i was slipping and sliding on the wet sand, spectacularly landing on my ass, getting sand in my shorts. lucky for my pride, nobody but the dog saw. and he was too busy happily chasing the ball down the beach to even care about me.

when i was driving to pick up the above friend, i nearly got in a car accident with this stupid woman. she was trying to make a left hand turn onto a very busy street. i was in the lane closest to her and she entered my lane. without looking at the traffic. i'm honking frantically because i can't stop because i have traffic behind me. and she still won't look at me. i had enter the lane next to me, slightly cutting off the guy beside me or else i would have rammed into her. he started honking and i thought he was mad at me. but what he did was too funny. he slowed down (because he had no one behind him) and started yelling and giving the woman who was in my lane the finger. he knew i had no other choice but to do what i did.

some of you may remember my adventures in mowing the grass. last week or maybe the week before, i broke a piece off of my lawn mower. i have done this before. it's not very expensive. today i went online to make sure i knew what i was buying, and found out it is the mower fan i keep breaking. i went out and bought a new one. as i was replacing it (which i was very proud of the fact that i was doing it myself), being me, i didn't pay enough attention to the order of how the parts came off very well. i went back in and printed a diagram from the internet. lo and behold, i found out i put the machine together wrong last year. no wonder my lawn mower wasn't working all that great! among other things, i am pretty sure i had the blade upside down! it kicks ass now.

i also put together an ikea trunk this week. apparently, i think i am a handy person this week. i also gave myself a facial so i'm still semi-girly. :)

here is friday random top ten this week.

1. intro (back to basics) - christina aguilera (oh, so that's the way it's going to be this week)
   
2. on springfield mountain - tara maclean (what is this? what is this from? why do i have it? )
   
3. repo man – iggy pop (ok, better)
   
4. intro (light it up) - jazzalude I - new reality style – guru
5. want – the cure
6. dissident – pearl jam
7. stereotypes – blur
8. big dumb town - stan ridgway
9. li'l hilda – fuck
10. line up – elastica

have a good long weekend my fellow canadians. my yankee buddies are just going to have to wait another week. i think i may join you down in the states next weekend.

my heart is crammed in my cranium and it still knows how to pound...

it occurred to me recently. what happened to frank black?

not the person. but the interview.

about six months ago, mr. stroumboulopoulos mentioned that he had done a frank black interview. he plugged it for a couple of weeks and then nada. and then i wrote an email to 'the hour' and i got a great email back from them. and i waited. and waited. until i finally forgot about it.

but recently, for some reason i remembered it recently. and i thought, damn them!

but i was lying on the couch sunday, cleaning out my pvr and i was like, i guess i should start watching some of these episodes of 'the hour' i have taped. because i've been taping, but i haven't felt the urge to watch any of them. i won't go into the whys as i am sure you all know by now how i feel.

but lo and behold, in last week's episodes, the frank black interview! and allison brachman had emailed me, just like she said. it's just that i don't go into that account as often as i apparently should.

here is the long awaited frank black interview. six months later, but still good.

and then, an interview with eddie izzard! i heart eddie izzard. a lot. he's hysterical. he has an accent. he wears make up. i so want him. :)







and because one eddie clip is not enough.(not my favourite outfit, but funny nonetheless)



what's up 'the hour'? are you wooing me?

jesus walks...

so 'goober' and i have just come back from a little adventure.

we had just finished a rousing game of ball with mr. man. this of course, is not the toy's name, but the toy reminds me of those mr. men kid books. you be the judge.




















'goober's' park toy currently is one without horns. he has one with horns, but we leave that at home. also, his park toy is missing one foot. a recent loss. courtesy of another dog's obsession.

anyways, we had just finished playing and went for a walk around the park. we discovered a cool looking trail. we started down it. this was a bad idea. we ended up at the creek with no way to cross it. or we could climb up a very steep hill. i chose to walk thru the water. i ended up with soggy boots and a long walk to the car. i have learnt my lesson. do not walk down strange trails in dog park!

well, at least it was pretty at the bottom!

















here is friday random top ten for this week.

1. loco gringos like a party - the reverend horton heat
2. stablemate – palace music
3. intro – the offspring
4. uncertain smile (12" remix) – the the
5. ballroom blitz – the sweet
6. raw – the curse
7. on your wings – iron & wine
8. bad boyfriend – garbage
9. another night in – tindersticks
10. 'b' side - the 'b' girls (i swear this song comes up all the time. i am getting quite sick of it)

have a good weekend everyone! i'm off to lie on the couch, dry my feet and catch up on a week's worth of the daily show.

floating by the open window...

ok, i'll blog more later but i have to share this.

this is a partial view from the window in my new work space.

and not only do i have a huge window with a view, my window opens!
how cool is that?

ps.. sorry the picture doesn't do it justice. my flash kept going off for some unknown reason.

money money money...

just back from the vet's. i am now $180 poorer.

'goober' has four different medications to take. joy, oh joy.

he is fine, the vet is just concerned about infections etc.

good thing i start my new job tomorrow. i doubt 'goober' has any money saved. :)

ps... will not be around for the strombo show tonight. i have a birthday dinner for five people to go to.

hit me with your best shot...

the day in photos.

today, 'goober' and i went to the park. we don't normally go to this park as the hills are steep but we were in the neighbourhood, and today, well felt special. this park is nice because the trails are off leash all the time and there is a lot of trees so it never gets too hot. if you walk all the way to the bottom, you hit water, which 'goober' loves. we didn't go that far today.

'goober' still got to have some fun in other water. this is the same dog that refuses to go outside when it rains.




time for lunch! we went to the legion for bbq chicken. i have heard that women should wear vanilla scents to attract men. i think they are wrong. i think they should wear the scent of barbeque. maybe i'll make a perfume one day. eau de bbq. i stood in line behind three young hotties. wooo hooo!


this is behind the legion. i'd never seen these before.



scary sad story coming up! considered yourself warned!



a dog attacked 'goober' today in the park. i didn't think too much about as 'goober' seemed fine when it happened. and dogs will be dogs. however, once we got home, i noticed he had been bleeding.




scary close up. we are going to the vet's tomorrow. sadly, our regular vet doesn't work sundays. 'goober' loves him. our vet can do anything to him, and 'goober' just licks him.

'goober' seems to be ok. i've cleaned him up and he didn't seem to be in any pain. although he is extremely tired of me looking at his wound.

check-ch-check-check-check-ch-check it out ...

oops, i played friday random top ten yesterday and forgot to post on my own site.

1. our science is tight – dillinger four
2. america is not the world – morrissey
3. i love rock n' roll - joan jett and the blackhearts
4. no more affairs – tindersticks
5. neighborhood #1 (tunnels) – arcade fire
6. witch doctor – lord high fixers
7. attack of the ghost riders - the raveonettes
8. hard as a rock – ac/dc
9. ch-check it out – beastie boys
10. freeway – chet baker

hope everyone's weekend is going just fine.

i'm a potato and i'm so hip...

a selection of random thoughts...

i was in safeway today, buying treats for my brother as it's his birthday today. technically, they are not from me, they will be from 'goober'.

'goober' received this from my brother for his birthday. i felt it was only right for 'goober' to give him a present back.






when i finally picked out the right dessert, the bakery lady had trouble with one of the tarts, so she said, that's it. they are now 2 for one. too bad, these are not something i would eat.



i went to the "big" library the other day and i wanted to take a picture of the signs they had on all the stalls there. however, since there were people in the washroom, i had to control myself. the signs were pink with huge fonts and said.. do not stand on the toilets. this must be a big issue if they have signs on all the stalls. i had no idea people went to the library and stood on the toilets.

i went and saw a band play tonight. (i'll blog more later on that) i decided to treat myself. i love this place. i only ordered the small. the guy behind the counter was are you sure? and i'm like yah. i should have listened to him. i ate a good portion of the fries on the way home and did not have nearly enough to dip into the garlic mayo. oh, and he forgot to charge me. but i was good and let him know.

ok, i'm tired now. tomorrow you can all hear about how freaked out i am about my new job.

have a good friday everyone.