Friday, March 09, 2007

dead, dead, dead, someday we'll all be dead...

random question: why do i only get asian spam?

now, i know it's friday and yes, i do have my random top ten to post. but first, i promised a post about my old boss.

now, let me make it clear. my ex-boss was awesome. her boss, was a complete idiot. plus she was one of those bosses that wanted to be friends, but assumed that you were always trying to get away with something. so as a boss, she really had no choice but to treat you like a child. on the other hand, she would always say why are you coming to me? i trust you. yah, she was a piece of work to work for. i figure it was time to share some stories about her. we will call her "w"

here are my top five "favourite" things she had to say on the topic of death, funerals and staff bereavement. in no particular order.

1. i used to work with a great gal named "s". she was 21 and had been with the company for a few years. she worked in customer service and sales so she knew everyone. and everyone liked her. she was a bubbly, funny young chick. i used to bring her gum from the states. she got a new job and tragically was killed in a car crash a couple of weeks later. her funeral was held on a work day. this caused "w" no end of grief. the fact that people actually wanted time off to go to a funeral?! "w" says, i don't even know why 668 wants to go to the funeral. i've never even seen them together. let's forget the fact that "s" and i had lunch once a week together. does that even matter? someone i worked with for a few years just died. can i not just want to pay respect to them? or maybe it's part of my grieving process?

2. an old family friend of my family died. this man had known me since before i was born. my parents knew him from their university days. this happened when i was covering my boss on her mat leave. i went to "w" to let her know that i might have to take an afternoon off to take my mother to the funeral. her first words to me "you have to take that as a vacation day. we don't pay for friends funerals. " umm, i so was not thinking of that. i was just trying to let you know ahead of time, that i might need a couple of hours off.

3. i worked with a girl named "b". her grandfather passed away. "w"... "i've never even heard "b" mention her grandfather before". well, yes. of course, if you don't mention something, it doesn't exist.

4. when my mother was dying, 'w' caught me in the bathroom. she loved to talk to you in the bathroom. drove us fuckin' nuts. she asked about my mother, and when i said the doctor said it was anytime now, 'w' said, oh well things will be better once she is dead.

5. this may be my favourite moment of all. "w" on the phone to head office. "i think we need to start asking for proof of death. these people (she loved using that term for staff. especially "her people". i'm sorry, when did slavery come back?) could start taking advantage of bereavement leave." yes, us staff are crazy like that. any excuse for a day off. our head office told her that they thought that was a little extreme. i told my boss, that if 'w' ever asked me for proof of death, i was going to take a photo of myself with the coffin.

let me state, these things were said out in the open. not in private. i will have to share some more classic stories later on.

here is my friday random top ten.

1. hope there's someone - antony and the johnsons
2. you're nobody 'til somebody loves you – dean martin
3. release me [live] - engelbert humperdinck
4. junkenstein – the wildhearts
5. secrets don't make friends – from first to last
6. hopeless case of a kid in denial – the hellacopters
7. hotel intro – moby
8. 3121 – prince
9. fetish - joan jett and the blackhearts
10. pillow queen – cub


Toccata said...

Oh my God w is a complete and total fuckwit. Number 4 is unbelievable. What an atrocious woman. I am so sorry you ever had to put up with such ridiculous behavior.

lol on your number 2 by the way. Just last night I left Barbara B a note about Dean Martin. I HATE Dean Martin. That man's voice truly makes me physically sick. Unfortunately my father loves D.M. so I was forced into hiding his albums where he couldn't find them but preferrably in a place where he wouldn't be suspicious if he did. I just found out this Christmas that my mother would do the same!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Excuse me? She actually said "things will be better once she is dead"? I have no words for the insensitivity of that supreme bitch.

whitenoise said...

This was funny. Thanks. ;-)

Allison said...

Oh my! Seriously? And I thought I was bitchy. Geez.

Your random playlist does actually seem very random to me, which sometimes isn't the case I find.

668 aka neighbour of the beast said...

what kills me, is that she meant it in a kind way. it's that she is just such an idiot, she opens her mouth and doesn't think things out.

sorry, i love dean martin! i grew up on him. my dad and big brother were big fans. but that is a good story. :)

it was very random this week. i remember thinking after the first couple of songs, oh ok, it's going to be a mellow one this week. then, bam it changes. :)

mellowlee said...

OMG I wanna kick W's ass!!!!!!

Johnny Yen said...

I had Dean Martin on my Random 10 too!

When I worked in the Chicago Public School system, we were informed that we needed to bring in an obit or some other death notice if we were going to take a "grievance" day.

Thank god "w" is your former boss.

668 aka neighbour of the beast said...

dino rocks! hee hee sorry toccata.

hey johnny...nice to see you. i've read your blog. :)

you know, it wouldn't have bothered me as much if h.r. had brought it in. but to have someone that knows all the staff etc, think that we have nothing better to do than lie about death, just was too much.

i am so glad she is my former boss. when my actual boss was on my mat leave, 'w' almost made me quit, without finishing off my agreement to cover the mat leave.