Friday, November 17, 2006

i've come to wish you an unhappy birthday ...

i got to thinking about birthdays this week. mainly as that was one of the topics on the radio this week.

i'm very particular with my birthday. this has to do with two facts mainly. one, my birthday is extremely close to new years. two, my parents mainly ignored my birthday growing. both of these factors contribute to how i feel about birthday as an adult.

now, the fact that my birthday is extremely close to new year's causes me much grief. in fact, i am pretty sure that it is part of the reason why i am so bitter about new year's eve. i feel like it's in competition with me. another reason for my grief is that no one ever has anyone money or any energy to go out for my birthday. it's always, oh, we went on new year's eve. we don't have any money left to go out again. or, i'm still recovering from new year's eve. i can't go out. and a lot of places are actually closed on my birthday.

growing up, when i got presents for my birthday, they were usually joint presents. usually given to me on xmas. um, thanks. what do i open on my birthday then? this is not so much a problem now, but how about when you are a kid? let me tell you, it sucks.

i'm obsessed with cake on my birthday. this directly relates to the fact that i very rarely got cake on my birthday growing up. so now that i am an adult, i insist on cake on my birthday. this drives my friends insane.

isn't it weird how what happens as a kid affects you as an adult?

13 comments:

mellowlee said...

I hope you get the bestest cake this year!

I think I would be the same way if I didnt get the proper birthdays when I was small.

As an adult, I don't much care if I celebrate or not, but back home I had a friend who did birthdays in a BIG way. She would always make sure we all got together, ALL the girls, and go clubbing, bring whistles, and streamers and confetti to the bars with us, etc. It was always a blast and we would totally terrorize the bar staff *G*

I hope you have a good birthday this year!

Anonymous said...

hey there, although i was just randomly reading some blogs and your blog pops in by accident, i understand EXACTly how you'd feel!as i suffer the same prob as u do!..i was born in 2 jan..
and nowadays i never wish i could have a wonderful B'day anymore...
it's kinda sad..but i understand when there's no expectation, there's no disappointment too..

668 aka neighbour of the beast said...

it's funny i didn't have cake this past year but it was a good birthday anyways. originally i was going to tell that story but you know, you start an entry and then it develops a life of it's own.

i'm not a planner for others birthdays but i always make sure that something is going on, and that i'm there. i even flew to calgary once to surprize a friend because i felt her friends there were not doing enough for her.

that is so bizarre because that is my birthday.

Toccata said...

I have to admit I had awesome birthdays growing up. By the time Feb came along people were sick of the snow and the cold and ready for a party.

Christmas, now there's a holiday that could really suck in our house. Really suck.

668 aka neighbour of the beast said...

i could see people wanted a party in february. all of my immediate family has birthdays in the two weeks following xmas. except my brother. i am still bitter. :)

sorry christmas sucked. i am lucky in that respect. my christmas usually rocked. but i know how rare that is.

Toccata said...

One of my best friends has her birthday right before Christmas and she has always said that it just get lost in the shuffle. Then in university her birthday was always during exams so no one wanted anything to do with a birthday celebration.

Christmas is ok now it's just that well life can throw you for a curve and we never quite recovered from what will probably always remain the single defining event in my life.

Evelyne said...

I understand what you mean, my mom's birthday is between x-mas and new year and we have to give her something for her birthday on the 28th... as a kid, she also got x-mas and birthday presents the same day... and shed can become really mad if we give her her birthday presents at the same time as her x-mas ones...

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I really shouldn't complain as a birthday close to New Year's completely sucks, but I have some idea how you feel, as my birthday is right around Thanksgiving and our wedding anniversary. My husband thinks it's great, as he "gets everything over with all at once", but I am often stuck stuffing a goddamned turkey on my birthday. So, my sympathies.

668 aka neighbour of the beast said...

toccata - yah, during exams must totally suck. i never went to school on my birthday. the schedule always worked out that i was off. except the year i got this massive flu and then i was off anyways. was the xmas event about your brother?

evelyne - my friends just found out how much i hate the combo gift a couple of years ago. so now they make sure i get two sets of gifts. although as a kid, i did sometimes get cool combo gifts because once in awhile you get a cool gift, because people spend more money on you.

barbara - that just wrong...:) my aunt and uncle are like that. their birthdays, wedding anniversary and halloween are all within days of each other.

Toccata said...

I wasn't sure you had read the comment about my profile picture but yes, it was my brother's death. It just really threw us for a loop and we were never allowed to talk about him which I have always thought was enormously sad. Advice is never welcome I know but man 668 I would just try to make sure you share stories of your mother. I'm sorry, I was out with friends and consumed far too much wine so just ignore me and my melancholy mood.

668 aka neighbour of the beast said...

oh, i believe wholeheartedly (?)in indulging in melancholiness when it hits.

i did read your comment and i meant to post something. i wanted to think about what i wanted to say first. but i was bad and forgot. :(

maybe your parents thought they were doing what was best. or maybe they couldn't deal with it. i also think it's best to just talk about this stuff.

J said...

Don't feel bad about having a BDAY complex. I have issues like that surrounding how my parents treated things when I was a child....

I hate Christmas... HATE IT!
With a passion.
I used to love it as a child but parents divorcing and trying to compete to give the kids a better Christmas then the other...well I wish it would go away.

I am really sorry that your Bday is not special

Can I ask when it is?

Why dont' you decide to throw a party for yourself?

Or prempt new years and have a newyears/668 Bday party bash.

Cake is required to gain entry you must bake/bring some. Cupcakes are alright as well.

Or go out by yourself and give yourself a pamper/spa day... or if you aren't into that....

Do something on your Bday that makes you feel special!

I love planning events for others. Especially birthdays. But I love it even more when others do it for me.

If I knew what city you lived in I might even help you plan!!!

J

668 aka neighbour of the beast said...

j- that sucks about christmas! i can totally understand why you would hate it. it's funny, i collect christmas music and movies, but i am not a particularly christmasy person.

i always plan stuff but it's hard because so many people can't make it. so then it turns out not really how i would like it.

i shouldn't complain that much. my friend's sister's birthday is actually on new year's eve. she is very bitter.

i was going to do a big spa getaway last year, but i went to la instead to see social distortion. which rocked.

it's the best when someone plans for you! makes you feel more special.

haha.. i'm a west coast gal!